Come on, don't cry, it's nothing

Don't worry it will pass

Do not worry everything will be fine 

Wipe your tears, you don't need to take it so hard

Don't be so sensitive, you need to toughen up a bit to stand the world

Don't don't don't……. Finally I have to stop being so sensitive and blinding those around me. Let me lower my emotions and everything will be better. 

How many times have you heard the above phrases when you are in a difficult emotional situation? 

If you think about it, our ear is used to hearing these since infancy. Most of the time the carer will say to the baby who is crying because he wants to eat or something is bothering him, 'come on don't cry, stop' 

This tactic continues indefinitely into late adulthood. 

Our helper - interlocutor at the moment when we express the difficulty in our emotions may have the best intention to appease us, calm us down and support us so that we can be better emotionally.

But maybe... The support, no matter how well-intentioned it is, through the above phrases, only succeeds in canceling our feeling, our experience, our experience at that moment?

Does it put us in a position to feel bad about what we feel?

Does all this slowly lead us over the years to build a wall against ourselves?

To tell us 'don't feel', 'don't experience', 'don't live'...

And finally, this whole process of suppressing and NOT externalizing our feelings...

How does it help us understand the quality, the source of what we feel? In what way will it make us feel better and resolve what is difficult for us? We end up not speaking effectively, hiding even from ourselves, lying to ourselves, blinding ourselves. 

Imagine that we are walking on a mountain. We want to breathe fresh air. Instead of freeing ourselves to inhale and exhale deeply to gain energy and banish negative thoughts, we let him continue his daily shallow and silent breathing so that no one can hear him. 

But what do we really need? 

People who can become our listeners with their hearts fully open. To try to put themselves in our place, to see events, situations and people through our own eyes. To simply declare to us their emotional presence in our lives, that they will be there to walk together on the road to freeing our emotions and improving them. Supporters of creating ways and tactics to help us be more calm, functional in our daily lives and spontaneous people. We need people to listen to us actively, without judgment, without blinkers. A hug to protect what we feel and give us the strength to explore them. 

Why do we need it?

The free living and expression of what we feel guides us to know better:

• what is it that we experience
• because we experience it,
• what is our reaction to it,
• what are the different forms our reaction to it can take
• how we can help us feel better. 

So, we won't feel good just temporarily. When we follow the tactic of oppression, but in the long run, since the next time a similar experience occurs we will be more prepared both theoretically and practically to face a difficult situation. At the same time, we will be both properly trained and resilient. We will be able to wonder, explore and deal with any other situation that brings us emotional loading.

Suppressing emotions can be an immediate solution. To be able at that moment to offer ourselves immediate relief.

But then what?

How long will we be oppressed again and again? A solution that offers a longer path to relief. It can be more difficult and unbearable many times. But passing through various stations of getting to know ourselves, the relief will be substantial and permanent! We only have to win from this trip! In this case, both the route and the destination have value. It may be a journey with more difficulties than ease but the destination will reward you. You will be able to stay in it for much longer and enjoy its beauties. 

Feel free to feel and express yourself. Say NO to people and situations that come to reduce your right to experience but not to your own right to experience and live, breathing deeply and taking care of its needs! 

Listen to yourself! Live your emotions! Listen to your needs! Live! 

Thank you for your time! 

I'm here whatever you need 

 Michaela