Every day from the morning we wake up until the night we go to sleep is overwhelmed by “shoulds”…I have to get up early to cook, I have to go to the bank, I have to go to work, I have to be right@, I have to I'm good@, I must be kind@, I must, I must, I must….

Somewhere here, let's say that at the very most, the priest is bored... 

All these "musts" lead us to suppress our own wants, our own happiness & peace of mind and make us waste ourselves in this phrase we hear from small children "what will the world say?"

Does anyone have any answers to what people have said?

I haven't heard anything or rather I don't care to hear because in order for him to say something about me there is a void in his own life, something he is missing and he is trying to find it by gnawing on the lives of others. Usually those who say, try to justify and beautify their own choices that never covered them because they were not based on their own desires. Also, I have a feeling that people, even though they don't have a reason to, have a tendency to talk about anything and do, whether you follow the rules or not, they will find something. That is exactly where the pathology of his behavior is hidden. 

Isn't it exasperatingly true how much this world must have created? I have to get into the best school, then I have to get a master's degree, then I have to find my maid, get rehabilitated, then a good partner, get married and then of course I have to have children….

Where is your own responsibility for your life in all this?????

When we don't follow our desires, then a mountain of emotional gaps is born inside us, of unfulfilled desires that torment us and lead us at some point to the internal & external explosion...

"Want" means "desire" and "desire" means "I want to enjoy what I desire".

If a vicious circle I would like to overwhelm my own life is that of my wants and desires, to have the courage to turn inside them, to take responsibility for my choices, my mistakes, to learn and to continue to I move towards what I want, knowing through my mistakes what to look out for to protect my own emotional world. 

To distinguish the "wants" based on our desires from the "wants" based on our impulses.

In the second case I am completely indifferent to the cost of the consequences of my act. And since we do not live alone, it is important to consider the mental world of others, their feelings and that the freedom of our own actions does not limit their own freedom. For example, I may no longer want my partner and feel that something is missing and want to leave the relationship. I can do this by talking with this person I have chosen until now, express what I feel with respect for me and the other. But it's different to act impulsively and cheat or have an ongoing affair!!! 

Psychologist Albert Ellis states that most of the emotional pain we experience and the mental regressions that overwhelm us are the result of the struggle/conflict between "should" and "want". Following what you believe will bring you closer to personal happiness, being good with yourself and enjoying what you do will solve a large part of the inner conflicts you experience. 

If you are interested and thinking about psychotherapy, know that through this process you are helped to understand dysfunctional values and beliefs that you have developed for yourself and to find your inner strength and confidence in yourself again!!!

So should I or should I? 

I choose Life. You? 

You are worth it no matter what! Do not forget it! 

Thank you for your time, 

Michaela